1 - 2 years

I need you to set limits and boundaries to guide me in what is ok and not ok

Toddlers don’t know how to wait. If you are busy, taking a break to play with your child will make them happy, then you can go back to what you were doing.

I need to have clear boundaries/family rules
It is important to be clear about what behaviour you accept and what you don't. If you have decided that you will not buy your child a sweet each time you go to the shop, then make that clear to your child. Perhaps take something else to eat (eg a banana or other food item).  The important thing is for you to have decided what you will do, rather than letting your child make the decisions by having tantrums. Children feel more secure knowing what is Ok and not Ok in your family even though they may not always like it.

Talking to me in positive, clear language may help me understand
Children often cannot understand an adult’s rules. Using words they can understand to explain what you would like them to do helps them to know how to please you. Try telling them what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do (eg ‘Can you give me the book?’, rather than ‘Don’t throw the book’, or ‘Show me how well you can hold my hand when we are in the car park’). If you are unhappy with their behaviour, it may help to tell them why you are unhappy and what you want.

I may start to test the limits
It is common for toddlers to test the limits and have temper tantrums. These often occur because your child cannot say what is upsetting them, or they are angry, upset or frustrated. Children are not deliberately naughty. Frustration and anger are normal human feelings. Your child needs your support and help to learn how to behave well. You have not ‘failed’ if your child has a tantrum or is not behaving well.