1 - 2 years

I need you to be consistent and to have consequences that are reasonable

Consequences need to be reasonable, relate to what your child is doing and respect them. The following ideas may help you to find ways to help them calm down and learn about what is ok and not Ok.

Give them a quiet cuddle and distract your child’s attention
Try to distract them by giving them something else to look at or play with. For example, instead of saying, ‘Don’t play with the TV buttons’ say ‘Let’s read a book’ or pick them up and look outside, talking about what they can see.

Ignore the behaviour
When a tantrum starts and you decide it is caused by them wanting something they cannot have or doing something you do not like, make sure they are in a safe area, then try to ignore the tantrum and stay calm.

Take them to a safe area if ignoring is difficult
There may be times when you need to move them if the area is unsafe or if ignoring them is difficult. If so, lift them up without anger or making any comment and take them to a safe area staying with them while they calm down or leave them to calm down staying nearby to keep them safe.

Once your child has calmed down
Giving them attention after they have calmed down rewards them for learning to control their behaviour.

If you are out and their behaviour is a concern
It can be more difficult to manage tantrums when you are out. You may be able to distract them, ignore the behaviour or sit quietly with them, until they are calm or ready to do as you want. Try to stay as calm as possible. Remember that tantrums are normal for toddlers. Reward them when behaving well by smiling and telling them you are pleased with them.

Hitting and biting
Hitting and biting are normal for toddlers, but they need to learn this behaviour is not Ok. It may help your child learn it is not Ok by moving them out of the room and giving the hurt person your attention. Don't hit or bite back, as they become confused about why you can do it, but they cannot. Praise them when they are playing well.