2 - 5 years

I need you to set boundaries and limits on how I behave

It helps children to accept limits and boundaries if the rules are fair and positive.

Talk to me about how you would like me to behave
Have clear limits and rules that you are happy with and will keep to, eg if you want your child to sit down when they have a drink rather than walk about with it, make sure they sit down each time they have a drink. Explain what you expect clearly when they are paying attention so they can understand. Children are very busy at this age, so if they are too interested in what they are doing they may be less likely to listen to you.

It takes time to learn and children often test the rules. This is normal. It may help to remind them what you want them to do and why. Be consistent, honest and fair.

Try telling me what you want me to do, rather than using ‘no’ and ‘don’t’
If your child is doing something you do not like, it may help to tell them what you want them to do, eg instead of saying ‘Don’t jump on the couch’ you could say ‘Floors are for jumping on, let’s jump on the floor together.’ It’s best to use ‘no’ only when you really need to, for example when they are doing something unsafe.

I will make mistakes
Accept that they will make mistakes, be frustrated and sometimes seem naughty. When your child has made a mistake, try showing them how to fix the situation. This helps them to learn from mistakes. Say you’re sorry if you have done something wrong. This shows your child that it’s not just children who make mistakes. It also shows them that they are valued and important to you. Children learn to respect others if they are treated with respect.