Dealing with anger

Anger is a normal emotion that we all have. It's what you do with your anger that matters. All children deserve to be kept safe. If you feel you might hurt your child, have hurt them, or feel unable to cope, it is important to find help urgently to help you keep your child safe and help you cope with parenting.

If you are feeling angry, think about what happened and how it might feel or appear to your child. Talk to them in a calm voice and don't blame them.

If you are feeling really angry, put your child in a safe place, walk away and have some time to cool down. Take several deep breaths and think about what relaxes you, If you can, think positively.

Then phone a friend, a family member, Plunket staff, another health professional or support person in your community and talk to them about your anger.

Have a good think about what has caused your anger and get to know the signals when anger is building up. Identify what is most likely to trigger the anger and plan to react differently in those times. Attending a local anger management course is a great idea.

If you are having problems with an older child’s behaviour see the S.K.I.P and Choose to Hug booklets which provide useful information on parenting. Ask Plunket staff or a well child health provider how you can get hold of these.

Get in touch with:

• a doctor (especially if you think you may have hurt your child)
• Child, Youth and Family on 0508 FAMILY (0508 326 459)
• Plunket staff or other well child health provider
• PlunketLine on 0800 933 922, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
• a trusted friend or family member
• other services in your community that may be available, eg Barnardos, parenting courses, Jigsaw or anger management courses.