Fathering – the best job on the planet

Fathers experience the parenting role differently from mothers.

When a father holds, cuddles, baths, changes, talks, sings and reads to his baby, he learn about the ways the baby reacts to him.

The baby learns their father is a person who will meet their needs. This learning, and the trust that develops, forms a bond between baby and father. If a father is more involved with his child, the stronger the bond between them will be, and the more baby will benefit.

The different ways a father communicates with, holds and comforts his baby adds to baby’s brain development. Recognising their father’s voice can be very calming and reassuring for baby.

In the immediate period after birth babies are often very alert, and are captivated by the people around them. This can be a special time for a father to begin his relationship with baby by holding and talking to them.

Partner support

The early days of parenting together are an important time for the relationship between parents as they adjust to the responsibilities and demands of having a child.

A father is an important support and carer for a new mother. Often he is the one who knows his partner best. He is able to predict her needs as she recovers from the birth and adjusts to her new role.

Research indicates that breastfeeding is more successful when the father is committed to supporting the mother to breastfeed.

Practical ways partners can help a new mother
:

• Take an active role in caring for the baby - bathing, changing, holding, singing or reading to, and comforting them.
• Take time to get to know the baby, learn about their tired signs, ways of settling and the things that comfort them.
• Take baby for a walk so that mum can have a rest.
• Talk and find ways to solve problems together.
• Support the mother’s decision to breastfeed.
• Be aware of any stress mum may be feeling.
• Supporting her to seek help if necessary.

Indicators of post natal depression

Indicators of post natal depression can include:

• being tearful and sad
• unable to see the funny side of things
• seems worried about not doing a good job
• blaming herself if things don’t go to plan
• being overly worried about apparently small issues
• sleeping a lot
• not sleeping well even when baby is asleep.

As a father, if you are concerned about your partner’s health and wellbeing you could talk to the partner, another close family member, a friend, midwife, GP, Plunket nurse. Read more about postnatal depression.