Child development three to five years

By three to four years old most kids: 

• are more imaginative during play  
• ask lots of ‘who’, ‘what’ and ‘why’ questions 
• can remember nursery rhymes  
• use three to five word sentences or more 
• most people understand what your child says 
• are toilet trained and can pull their pants up and down 
• can feed themselves 
• can put on shoes without laces and undo buttons 
• can ride a tricycle using pedals 
• can build a tower out of cubes.

By four to five years most kids: 

• can understand most of what you say  
• can follow simple two to three step instructions like “can you find your shoes and put them on please?” 
• are more independent 
• can unscrew a lid from a jar 
• know their own gender and age 
• walk up and down stairs 
• know the names of some shapes and colours 
• can hold a pencil and copy some letters (by four years) 
• dress and undress on their own 
• use five to six word sentences or more 
• most people understand what your child says 
• enjoys listening to and telling stories.

There are some simple things you can do to help your toddler develop:  

• let them play with other kids so they can learn how to make friends and socialise with other children
• encourage everyday skills like using a spoon and putting on their shoes 
• talk to your child and name and talk about everyday things (kitchen items, food, toys) to develop their language skills 
• give meaning to your child’s talking by listening and talking back to them 
• read together, tell stories, sing songs and recite nursery rhymes to encourage their imagination and speech 
• cook with your child to encourage their interest in healthy food.

Talk to a health care professional if you notice your child has any of the following issues. 

If your child at three years old: 

• doesn’t look you in the eye 
• has issues seeing or hearing (there are some helpful hearing and vision developmental screening questions in your Well Child Book) 
• doesn’t use three-word sentences 
• doesn’t understand simple instructions – for example, ‘Please give me the ball’ 
• is hard to separate from you, or their primary caregiver 
• isn’t interested in other children
• doesn’t play pretend   
• is clumsy (e.g. trips a lot when walking or running) 
• can’t handle small objects like a pencil or crayon 
• can’t draw simple shapes like a circle or a square. 

If your child at four years old: 

• has trouble seeing or hearing 
• can’t understand simple two-part instructions like ‘Put the spoon down, and pick your cup” 
• has challenging behaviour (e.g. often has large tantrums over very small things) 
• doesn’t play pretend   
• is clumsy  
• has trouble holding small objects like a pencil or crayon 
• can’t draw shapes like a circle or a square 
• has a hard time dressing on their own or using the toilet.

If your child at five years old: 

• is hard to understand or doesn’t speak in full sentences 
• can’t follow simple directions  
• has inappropriate or challenging behaviour  
• has no interest in letters or trying to write their own name 
• is withdrawn, worried or depressed 
• gets very upset when they are separated from you or their primary caregiver 
• doesn’t interact well with other people (e.g. is aggressive or shows no interest) 
• wets or soils their pants during the day (know night-time wetting can be normal up until six to seven years, especially for boys) 
• has issues falling asleep at night or staying asleep.