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Kia mōhio mai koe

  • Kāore i te kii ake me mōhio motuhake koe i tēnei mea te m ātuatanga me ōna whainga ki tōna taha. Ko te mea nui ko te whakarite kia tika ki tōu ake whānau
  • Ko te whakawhiti kōrero i ngā wā katoa. He ao hou tēnei te mātuatanga he maha ngā  kitenga hou. Otirā, he rerekē ētahi, nā reira he painga te kōrero i i a te wā
  • Ka ora katoa te whānau mena ka mahi tahi ngā mātua
  • Ko tētahi āhuatanga hei whai atu ko pāpā e noho ana ki te kainga, kei whea mai tēra.

Ko wai ka aha?

Ka whakarite kia 50:50 te whainga ko wai ka maranga ake i ngā haora o te pō mō pēpi?  Ka tāea e au te noho hei pāpa noho kainga? Ko ngā Kaupapa huinga ka taka mō māmā i ngā wā katoa. Nā reira me tatari au ki muri?  

Ka tau ake hei mātua koia nei te ao hou. He painga tonu kia maha ngā pātai i te mea kei te ako tonu ko wai kei te mahi i tēnei, ā, ko wai kei te mahi i ētahi mahi kē?

Anei ētahi atu āhuatanga hei āwhina:

  • Me pono te whakawhiti kōrero: Kōrero atu ki tō hoa pūmau, tō hoa rangatira he aha ētahi o ngā kaupapa e māmā ana mō kōrua ki te whakarite. Kia tau te rangimarie ki waenganui i a korua. Kia kaua e tāunu. Anei ētahi kupu āwhina (tino pai tō tautoko mai) kia kaua e tuku “kore koe e “ ko te mea nui kei te mahi tahi korua.
  • Mahitahi: He painga tonu mō te kainga ka mahi tahi korua i ngā mahi i waenganui i a korua (te manaaki tamariki, te whakahāere i te kainga me te pūtea moni) e hari ai kōrua me kōrero tahi i ngā wā katoa me te pātai, ‘mā wai hei mahi tēnei, mā wai e mahi tērā’.
  • Whakakōretia te whakamanamana:  Kua tae te wā e kii ana, ēhara ko māmā te mea me noho noa iho ki te kainga. Kua kore hāere te whakaaro ko Pāpā hei mahi i ngā mahi o wāho. Whakahāere tahi i ngā mahi e tāea ai te whānau.

Kia maumahara ake ka tāea e Pāpā te mahi i ngā mahi.

Tērā e kore e tāea e koe te whakawhānau tamaiti, ki te whai miraka, engari ka tāea ētahi atu o ngā mahi pēnei i te whakakaukau, te whakamoe, te tākaro, te mahi kai me te kawe i nga tamariki ki te huinga (Plunket) hikoi, ki te mahi i ngā kaupapa o te kainga, ki te tīnī kope, te mirimiri, te manaaki i tō hoa pumau, tō hoa rangatira me ēra atu.

He maha ngā kaupapa mahi. Ko te mea koa kia wawe te mahi, ka noho tau ai te whānau.

He mea nui koe ki tō whānau kaua e noho whakama atu me te mea hoki kei te pīrangi o tō hoa pūmau kia āwhina atu koe.

Family sitting outside with dog. 

He Pāpā noho kainga

Ko te whainga ō te pāpā noho kainga. Kua tino maha tēnei āhuatanga me te mea hoki he maha tonu ngā tane kua whai tēnei. Arā, i ngā tau kua hipa, kua whakairitia ngā pūtu mahi ki waho, ka noho ai te pāpā ki te manaaki i ngā tamariki.    

He aha ngā mahi ā Pāpā noho kainga i te ata (me te pō)?

He ritenga ki tā Māmā, ka noho ia ki te kainga ki te: 

  • Tiaki i ngā tamariki kia ora, kia hari – ko te whāngai ia rātou, te whakarata, te whakamoe, te hāere ki te papa tākaro, hāere te mahi kaupapa mahi ki waho, me te whakaatu i te aroha me te manaakitanga
  • Whare tohutohunga – te mahi, pūtea, mahi ngā kai.

 Ka rite ano kia Māmā , ka tāea a Pāpā ki te: 

  • Noho kainga mo te wā paku, mo te wā roa
  • Noho kainga mo ngā marama paku nei, noho kainga mo te maha o ngā tau
  • He whakarite i ngā rā whakangahau, ngā uaua
  • Kāore i te tino rata kia noho kainga, a, tērā pea he painga tonu ki te noho kainga me te mea hoki koia te mahi pai katoa ō te ao. 

He rereke tā tena kitenga me te mea hoki ka nuku ka tīnī ake. Tēnā, whakatau ki tōu ake whānau hei painga.

He aha te āhua mo te Pāpā noho kainga?

Ka tiaki ā Chad i tōnā kōtiro a Isla, ka kī ake: “He wero, he mīharo tēnei taumata, kātahi anō ia ka aro atu.”

“Ko tāna, ia ra, ka kite ake i a Isla e tipu ana me te mīharo ake te kite i ngā nukunga. He kupu hou kua whakahuatia.”

Ka kii ake anō he aha te aha. Ka taka ki ētahi mokemoketanga ki ētahi tangata.

He iti āu nei whainga ki te eke kie hei Pāpā noho kainga me te mea hoki kua kore koe e utua mo tō mahi. I te nuinga ō te wā he maha ngā tangata kei tō taha kia koe e noho kainga ana me tō tamaiti.

Ko tā Chad kōrero mō te noho ā Pāpā ki te kainga:  

  • Kai mau tonu to pīringa ki tō hoa  
  • Ka hāerere ki waho o te kainga ka pokia e te kainga
  • He maha ngā roopu hei whai atu māu. He ahua roa tonu koe e kō ana, ēngari ka uru pai te mutunga ko te painga kē mō Isla  
  • Kia harikoa ahakoa ka oho pō koe, ka whakaaro ake koe hei te wā ka kore hāere tēnei mea te awhiawhi.

“Whakatautia he wā me Isla koia tētahi whakaaro i tino pai kia māua” 

Chad and his daughter, Isla.

 

He aha ī tino tika kia mahi tahi māua, hei tīmā mahi tahi

Ka toa katoa te whānau mena kei muri to hoa pūmau, tō hoa rangatira i tō tuara me te mahi tahi kōrua i te wā e mātua ana kōrua.

Ko ngā painga mō ngā mātua ka mahitahi ana:

  • Oritenga (kia mōhio, kia marama) ka mau i ngā tamariki me aha rātou e mauritau ai 
  • Kia puta ngā whakaatu oranga hauora mai ngā mātua
  • He tikanga ka tāea te whakatau i te rangimārie i te kainga, me te taiao
  • Kei konei ka ora pai, ka hono pai ki tō hoa pūmau, tō hoa rangatira ki tō whānau.

He painga, he mauri, he aiotanga kei tō kainga ahakoa te aha. Ko tēnei kei te ako tonu i ngā whainga o te mātua. Māu anō koe hei whakarite ki a tōtika ake:

  • Manaakitia koe  me tō hononga – He māmā ake te mahi tahi i te har i te koa kōrua ā- wairua, a-hinengaro, ā- tinana nei.   
    • Ka pā tēnei ki ngā Pāpā Māori, ngā Pāpā katoa. Me whakaaro ake mo Te Whare Tapawhā. Kei konei ētahi āhua hei āwhina ake e tau ai tō whare
    • Kei konei ētahi āwhina hāere ki ngā kōrero e pā ana mo te whakawātea i te āwangawanga, te ngēngē me te riri

Inā kei te uaua ngā mahi ō te kainga, tēnā koa whakapā ki tētahi atu koa.

He painga ki te kōrero atu ki tō hoa pūmau, tō hoa Rangatira. He rawe anō ki te toro atu ki ngā hoa, ā ki tētahi o tō whānau e hono pai ana koe.

Ka pīrangi ake koe i te tautoko, anō whāia atu ngā hono tohutohu horapa i Aotearoa (Te Tumu Mate Hinengaro, kei reira ētahi `whina hoki. Wāea atu ki PlunketLine, wāea nehi kore utu  0800 933 922),  me te tautoko ā tangata ki te tangata (pēnei ia  Dadz Care).   

Me pēhea te whai kaitautoko :

Mental Health Foundation

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The Mental Health Foundation works towards creating a society free from discrimination, where all people enjoy positive mental health & wellbeing.

Dadz Care: Peer-to-peer support service.

Kidz Need Dadz

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A charity dedicated to strengthening father-child relationships through support, education and fun.

Kia maumahara – kāre i te tika ki te patu i tō whānau 

  • Ka mōhio ake koe kua tata koe te whiu, hīkoi ki waho mō te 10-15 mēneti kia tau tō wairua. Wāea ki tētahi o āu nei hoa, whānau rānei ki te kōrero ki te kohi ia koe. Ka tāea te wāea atu ki 0800 HEY BRO (439 276). He rātonga kore utu 24/7. 
  • Kei te mōhio koe e tūkinotia ana koe, wāea atu kia Shine  0508 744 633  hei tautoko (Kāre he utu. Ka wāea mai te 9am to 11pm ia ra) ka kore wāea atu ki It's Not Ok helpline (0800 456 450).
  • Ka mōhio koe kei te tino tata mai te kino, wāea 111 ka tono mō te pirihimana  (oma ki waho hāere ki te wāhi kei reira te tangata, ka akī tō reo kia rongo mai ētahi i a koe.  Kawea āu nei tamariki, kaua e tatari, kaua e tiki taonga).
For more information and support, check out the 0800 HEY BRO website:

He Waka Tapu

Visit Website

A kaupapa Māori health and wellbeing service in Christchurch.

Are you experiencing domestic violence?

The charity dedicated to making New Zealand homes violence free.